A Politician, a Faith Leader, a Layperson, and an Activist Met in a Crosswalk…
Let’s all celebrate the brave new world of pick-and-choose neutrality, where fairness is redefined by the subtle art of exclusion! In their infinite wisdom, our determined leaders have decided that only some flags deserve to flap freely in the breeze, because, as we all know, nothing screams "neutral" like a rigid list of “approved” traditions.
Want to celebrate your culture or identity? No problem—just make sure it’s on the Approved Traditional Neutrality Compliance List and displayed only in compliant locations! If your symbol isn’t on the list, don’t take it personally—it’s not about intolerance, it’s about keeping things simple. After all, who can handle the existential threat of a rainbow-painted sidewalk or a Treaty Flag? Chaos, surely.
And the sidewalks? Oh, those poor, impressionable sidewalks. Under the proposed rules, sidewalks will only be permitted in the “continental” or “ladder” varieties of faded shades of white—because, apparently, vibrant colors are a threat to public order. No exceptions, no grandfathering of previous designs. Of course, traditions on the list are safe from this rule. We can grandfather all of those because neutrality only applies when it’s inconvenient.
But don’t worry — seasonal decorations are still safe! Public spaces will remain festive…as long as your colours are sufficiently non-threatening and reflect the values of “neutral” holidays (you know, the ones we’ve always had, but no rainbows or other modern symbols of tolerance or peace, please).
Because let’s be clear — neutrality and fairness are not the same value. Neutrality excludes by design, pretending it’s impartial, while fairness ensures that everyone, no matter their identity or background, gets to celebrate and belong.
Those proposing this bylaw are counting on good people to do nothing.
I’m counting on good people recognizing the bigotry and the absurdity of the proposal.
On Dec. 2, I’m voting NO to By-law 08-2024.
Scott Robins, Town of Barrhead resident